another cross-dressed infant

I don't really care if people mistake my baby girls for boys. If it matters less now, maybe it will matter less down the road when they're older and choose their own outfits. It's important to keep an open mind, even in (baby) fashion. Besides, infants have no idea there's a difference between boys and girls, and they have no idea at all what gender they are. So if navy blue happens to bring out Mariel's eyes, then I'll dress her in it. Admittedly though, I didn't choose this outfit, but it's got a nice print, so I quickly got over the color. The sweater was one of Lil's, and it's one of the best baby sweaters ever. Yup. As long as they keep making awesome baby and kids' clothes for both genders, my kids will wear awesome baby clothes for both genders. *shrug*

it's a birl... or a goy!

lil, or bill?

For the last few days, there's been a lot of buzz on the message boards surrounding this article on children and gender.  It's about a family that is keeping their baby's gender a secret from family and friends, not just in utero, but long after birth. 

"In fact, in not telling the gender of my precious baby, I am saying to the world, ‘Please can you just let Storm discover for him/herself what s (he) wants to be?!.” Witterick (mother) writes in an email."

I understand bucking social constructs.  Thanks to my Liberal Arts education, I have an understanding of gender as something that is not binary, but spans five or more sexes (I will never forget meeting a lesbian trapped in a man's body).  I am also an aunt who had to wait until birth not once, but twice to find out if I had a niece or a nephew, and I experienced the frustration and excitement that went along with not knowing the baby's gender.  When I was pregnant, I wanted to know if I had a Lil or a Bill, but I didn't want anyone else to know.  It is hard to accept that babies, who have no use for a gender identity, are defined by their gender before being born.  Maybe it sounds hypocritical, but I experience the same curiosity as everyone else.  Besides, she was in my belly.  I think I had the right to know. 

It is not enough just to have girl things or boy things.  It seems like everything is assigned a gender.  The entire animal kingdom is being divided by the manufacturers of baby goods.  Puppies are for boys, kittens are for girls.   Ocean themes are appropriate for boys, but the forest with its bunnies, deer, and squirrels is reserved for girls (except owls, they're one gender-neutral critter).  According to Baby Gap, zebras go to girls, elephants go to boys, and giraffes can be for a boy or a girl, depending on the color (but guess who gets the pink giraffes).  The parents in that article may be striving for genderless children, but the real baby world is over-saturated with gender.  Maybe it's better for children to experience everything, rather than one way or another, or even the Other.  Is there any other way to lose the labels of "girl things" and "boy things"?

foots and legs

                                      "Tell me, O Octopus, I begs,
                                        Is those things arms or is they legs?
                                        I marvel at thee, Octopus;
                                        If I were thou, I'd call me Us."
                                                                                     

                                                                                      The Octopus, by Ogden Nash

Lil is a cross-dresser.

I don't like pink for girls.  My preference has little to do with the color itself, I actually think Lil looks beautiful in soft carnation or rosy pink.  But the gender label attached to this color bothers me.  I don't understand why some people think I have to dress my baby girl in pink and purple when she looks just as nice in blue and brown.  Flowery prints and pastels are fine, but camouflage and plaid cause confusion.  Why not just dress our babies however we want, and let other people ask, "is that a boy, or a girl?"  I shouldn't dress my baby girl in olive drab and camouflage so that strangers aren't made uncomfortable by gender ambiguity.  I'm fine with the discomfort they might feel, and I'm just as fine with your baby boy wearing pink and purple, kittens and bunnies.  After all, our babies haven't defined their own gender identities yet.  Lil can like baseball caps just as much as tutus; she'll be my sweet girl, no matter what.

It's another nasty day in Brooklyn, and a perfect last look at this little brown kimono top and leggings from baby gap. The socks, however, are from Trumpette, the world's best baby socks.  Thank you KHB for that little box of cuteness!