happy retro mother's day

This vid is not from Mother's Day. It's from August or September of 1978. There is a very cute baby in it, and a very happy mama. The baby is me. The mama is my mama—Lil's Granmary. And I'm pretty sure this is one of the only time my mom and I appear on film together. So this post is less for sharing and more for posterity.

daughter's day

my gift

I enjoyed celebrating mother's day as a child. Handmade cards, toast-and-oj-in-bed, fresh-picked wild flowers. My plan was always to be sweeter and more loving and more precious than my older brother. Sometimes it was a no-holds-barred competition, which wasn't fair because he was old enough to make pancakes and french toast and I could only use the toaster oven. No matter. As I recall, our mother enjoyed my gifts much more than his. 

It's different being a mother on mother's day. I'm not sure I do anything to deserve any extra devotion or added affection. Lil couldn't possibly go out of her way to be more loving, and she is not allowed near the toaster. At this age, she can only be her funny, beautiful little self. What more can I ask for?

Except.

I remember when I started earning enough to have extra spending money. I was so happy I could afford to send her flowers or buy her beautiful jewelry. She always said, "you really don't have to..." and I knew she meant it, but doting on her brought me joy. Since I couldn't be there, I wanted something lovely to be there in my place. 

I would've liked to be the daughter just one more time.

our icon, our absence

Everyday Lil started out as a tongue-in-cheek approach to baby fashions, and we never expected any followers, save one. Every day when I would pick out Lil's little outfit I would wonder what her Granmary would say about our style choices. Lil's Granmary set her sights on many things, raising children, educating the masses, fighting conservatism and ignorance, and putting together a fabulous yet affordable wardrobe.

in Phoenix, 1990

She had her priorities in order. First, raise the kids, so by the time they're grown you have enough closet space for your growing wardrobe. Second, educate. Not only is education an important and rewarding field to dedicate your life to, it also provides ample opportunities to show off your wardrobe, and inspire wayward, fashion-stunted teens to better their appearances (and as an extra bonus, not a day will pass without a compliment). All arguments made against conservatism and ignorance are much more powerful in a well accessorized outfit– perhaps a pressed white blouse, fitted jacket, pencil pants and skimmer flats. Many an opponent faltered before her, and she always had the last word followed by a glass of Finger Lakes Pinot (noir or blanc, depending on the mood). Andrew Breitbart has no idea what's waiting for him in the afterlife, but to be sure Granmary's gonna school him. Along the way her wardrobe grew, spanning a few decades and a number of sizes. Retirement allotted just enough time to purge, reorganize, and change out all the cheap plastic hangers for those nice velvety ones. The closet in my old bedroom was reserved for her old work clothes, and the double closet and two dressers in her room contained everything fun and frivolous, as well as all things practical and functional. By combining form and function with her bold confidence, Granmary's coup de grace was her style.

Granmary's last visit to Santa Cruz, April 2011

Besides remembering Granmary, my ramblings do have a point. Everyday Lil was created for Granmary. I didn't need any other readers, or any fans. I only cared about sharing my beautiful girl with my mother, showing her Lil's insanely cute wardrobe, capturing every beautiful expression for her enjoyment, and hers alone. The fact that anyone else bothers to read this blog is probably a testament to the pride and joy Granmary got from my daily posts. So when she left us, it hardly seemed worthwhile to keep going. The only person left who I wanted to share it with was a future version of Lil, as a document of her first year of life. I never got a baby book, so I fashioned Everyday Lil into a sort of chronicle for her to enjoy when she grows up. For a time it didn't make a difference whether or not anyone else read this blog, so I began to post less frequently. There were other mitigating factors, but the truth is that I lost the motivation.

all dolled up for Valentine's Day

I'm thinking stylishness skips a generation. I never liked getting dressed the way my mother did. I only wanted clothes that were comfortable. With pockets. I could spend my whole life in a cotton maxi dress, a hoodie, and flip-flops. It's still to early to tell if Lil enjoys her prettier things, but she does seem fascinated by shoes and accessories. And she's not afraid to be herself no matter what she's wearing. If there's crawling and climbing to do, a few layers of tulle will not get in her way. Of course, it would be much easier to get a decent picture of Lil if she did sit still, and maybe we'd have a little more Lil and a little less editorial this week.

keeping busy in the new place

Spring is coming. The sun is warm, crocuses are blooming, and we've moved to a new apartment in a new part of Brooklyn– Kensington is just south of Prospect Park, a mix of cultures and alarmingly free of hipsters. Lil is by far the most stylish toddler on the block, and I think she knows it. There's a whole pile of new outfits just waiting for her (and for me to put them on hangers). So stay tuned, dear Lil readers, our goal for March is one post per week. Maybe two.

caLILfornia, part 3: bundled at the beach

the west coast

 The day after Thanksgiving was the lowest tide of the year. We headed down to this beach just passed Davenport, Scotts Creek. Funny it's called Scotts Creek. I think it could be compared to the cliffs of Dover, but that's not Scottish. Scotts Creek probably got its name from the founder of Bonny Doon, a Scotsman by the name of John Burns. You can just imagine him coming down the hill after a long day of logging to sit on the beach, smoke a joint, and bathe in the frigid water. We just went down to check out some tide pools, breathe in the ocean breeze (wind), and drink in the scenery.

my beautiful niece mixes animal motifs

hand knit and snug as a bug

Lil and I did not ford the creek to the tide pools. The water was a little fast, and Mama was wearing her new boots from Snipe, which the salesman said were waterproof (twice... but they're not). Regardless, I wasn't willing to risk it. They're made with naturally dyed leather, and who knows what would happen to that juicy ruby red. Instead we just twirled around on the beach, ran up to the water, then away from the surf, watched Grandpa Gary fly his kite, and waved at strangers.

twirling girls

From time to time, I looked out at the horizon, and admired the sea cliffs in a haze of ocean spray, or just watched my family enjoy the chilly beach afternoon. I couldn't help but think that GranMary must've visited this same beach with Josie as a baby, maybe Lil's age, maybe a bit older. And I felt grateful knowing the same piece of paradise, the same slice of heaven, there with Lil.

And to be sure, GranMary knew we were there, too.

all quiet on the eastern (williamsburg) front

Right when it looked like Everyday Lil was back in full swing, technical difficulties caused another break in Lil coverage. Although Time Warner failed to provide internet service, and Mama's smart phone experienced a drool-related systems failure, it doesn't mean that the Lil miss wasn't photographed extensively over the last few days. And now that we're back, here's a full rundown of Lil and her early Fall cuteness.

On Friday, Lil met up with her buddies at Agnes' house.  It's great to have a backyard to roll around in, grass to pick at, even some stones to throw.  Even though Lil was plenty busy exploring her surroundings, she still took time to socialize.

Lil's friends, Ava Mae (with Lil, top), Agnes, and Evan. Benjamin Bunny was rolling around somewhere!

On Friday, Lil wore a special dress she got from her cousin Josie in honor of GranMary's birthday. We don't know for sure, but we suspect that GranMary gave this dress to cousin Jos when she was a wee thing.  Maybe Lil was dressed for a party rather than a romp in the grass, but the pastel tulips looked lovely on the lawn.

On Saturday, Lil went out with Mama and Papa and her Grumpa Mike to the biggest Babies R Us ever, someplace in East New York.  It's amazing what you can accomplish with an automobile.  This was not a fun shopping spree, rather it was high time for baby-proofing. This task is not easily accomplished in our household.  Baby hazards are everywhere, and as Lil becomes more mobile- guess who pulled herself up to standing that very morning- Mama and Papa must be all the more vigilant, lest more gadgets fall victim to baby slobber.

special bonus footage!

Sunday was a quiet day, one that normally features Lil's swim class.  This Sunday Lil woke up with a sneeze, a cough, and a face full of snot.  Mama discovered a low-grade fever, and decided it was best to miss class.  Lil didn't seem to mind, she just cuddled up and took a little nap, Papa was the one who began to pout.  With our extended visit Upstate, Lil missed a total of 3 classes in August! Let's hope she's still a little fish when she gets back in the water.

stay-dry play time

Later, we took a stroll to Tuffet with our friend, and Lil got lots of attention, and snacked on some nectarines.  A low-key weekend filled with lots of love, and little excitement.

Just the way mama likes it.

our world took a tumble

This is the hardest blog post I've written. 

We've been gone for over a week without a mobile pic or peep.  We didn't take any photos, we didn't try on new outfits, and we didn't document Lil's first attempts at crawling on her hands and knees, clapping, or pointing. We haven't told you about her new favorite nickname "ga-bah-gaba."  We haven't talked about our trip Upstate, how we beat Irene and arrived in Ithaca ahead of schedule, how Lil saw a brand new baby, or the much-anticipated first encounter with Uncle Jeremy.  All of these happy new and exciting things, and we haven't mentioned a single one.

Lil lost her dear GranMary.  Mama lost her mama.

Earlier we reported that GranMary was sick, but she was getting better. She was diagnosed with cancer, but she was going to fight it, and we were going to help her. We hoped and prayed and kept our thoughts positive.  GranMary's spirit was much stronger than her body, though.  She left us August 30th surrounded by peace and love. To say she'll be missed is an understatement. There will be a missing piece in Lil's life, and a hole in Mama's heart. 

GranMary was all about jackets

But there will be stories and memories, bits of advice passed from mother to daughter. Reminders everywhere. And inspiration. Tributes. GranMary homages, perhaps even a few more contributions to Lil's wardrobe. Although GranMary's presence will be missed (along with her presents), she will always influence Lil.  Whether it's her style, her tenacity, her penchant for books, or her sense of humor, GranMary will continue to impact Lil's life... every single day.

Lil, Mama, and GranMary on May 20, 2011

a swing and a lil miss

Since GranMary is being treated with chemotherapy, we have to take extra precautions so that Lil isn't exposed to any dangerous chemicals.  Luckily, GranMary's particular treatment only barred Lil from the hospital for one day, so we got in some outdoor playtime. We stayed at Miss Mary's house, and in her backyard there is a very special swing.  Lil got to experience her very first ride on a swing, and Mama was quick enough to capture it on video! It's pretty sweet, check it out...

an additional GranMary update:

We stayed in town until Saturday, but when we left GranMary was still in the hospital.  The good news is that the medicines she's on for breathing are helping a lot! Also, her appetite is making a come back, her mac & cheese was heartily consumed.  Even Mama said it tasted good!  The above mentioned chemotherapy was very easily tolerated, and her next dose will be in a couple weeks.  With all the love and prayers and positive energy, Lil will have a healthy GranMary in her life for a long time to come.

a stolen moment, and lil the exilir

Lil is not afraid to admit that she stole this look from cousin Josie.  We were looking at an old Facebook album of Josie's baby pictures, and found one of her in this sweatshirt.  Lil said, "Let's remake this photo, Mama."  Well darling babe, we don't have an ocean, or a breeze, and we are stuck inside a hospital with no real camera, but okay, we can do that.

So we did.

Lil's been away this week taking care of her Grandmary who is sick in the hospital.  While we are dosing Grandmary with her daily Lil Pill, please send a little positive energy and a few prayers to us!  We have a fight ahead of us, but a little adversity never scared Grandmary, or Mama.  And it will never even phase my Lil Brave One.